Things I Learned in My Twenties
Ah, the roaring Twenties - not the decade of bathtub hooch and Gatsby parties, but the decade of serial bad dates and alcohol that could be compared to bathtub hooch. The 10 years nestled between 19 and 30 are transformative, to say the least. There is a lot of take, and even more give. It’s a time of discovering and rediscovering yourself as a human and member of society. It’s a time to decide if you’ll sink or if you’ll swim.
I’m still in this time of my life, but I feel as though I’m lightyears away from my sad-eyed 22 year old self. She wanted answers that she couldn’t have yet, and had a hustle that I wish I could get back under my belt- but she was very lost and overwhelmed with the choices she felt she had to make in order to become the “cool girl” she dreamed about.
So, in those 6 years since, I’ve grown and felt all varieties of winds of change blow in and out my doors and cracked windows. These are just a few.
1. I stopped caring what irrelevant people think.
This is always easier said than done, but who should really care what people that barely even make a blip on your radar have to think about where or with whom you spend your time? Not you, that’s who! Yes it’s annoying as hell, but what’s even more annoying is the time you waste even dwelling on it. Literally block the “haters” and stop caring. Keep doing you and they can get over it.
2. My health is more important than any 9-5 job.
I learned this the hard way, from multiple burnouts and anxiety attacks and letting a health condition get so bad that I almost died... all because I thought I was just stressed from work. If your work causes you to avoid your body shutting down, or if you cannot sleep at night causing your emotional stability to falter, it is not worth it. Absolutely, 1000%, not worth it. Take care of yourself! Get the physicals, drink the water, put the phone away and get some damnass sleep! The work load will be there tomorrow, and so will your sanity if you put your phone on airplane mode and treat yo’self to 8 hours of sleep.
3. Some BFFs don’t make it to Forever.
A couple of years ago I had a gang of friends that would get together every Tuesday for tacos and gossip and card games. It was one of the most fun seasons of my life - being seen and heard and appreciated for the person I was in 2016. However, by fall of that year, things had changed. I had changed. We didn’t fit together anymore. It took me a lot of nights crying and days frantically journaling in empty coffee shops to realize that this was what nature had intended and even when life felt like it was falling apart, it was actually falling perfectly into place in other areas. Not everyone you dance in the kitchen and cruise around town with is meant to be called yours forever. So cherish what moments you share, and be at peace once they’re gone.
4. Dating for the sake of dating isn’t the greatest idea I've ever have.
If I had a dime for every half-decent Tinder date I went on in my time... I wouldn’t have many. I found myself yearning for human connection, and boy did I find it. Men will find you if you put out a signal - it’s basic biology. I realized one day that although some of these guys were nice humans, they were most certainly not for me. So I pressed pause, grew in other areas of my life until I knew I was the version of myself that I wanted others to date... and then found more duds to take me out for tacos. As cliche as it all is, it’ll happen. It can be on OkCupid (which actually worked out for me and my boyfriend), or it could be that movie-magic moment in a coffee shop. The whole point is don’t wait for anyone to complete you. Do life and read the books and take the trips and things will happen. Your time is precious - don’t waste it on boys that are content to work part-time and live with their Momma forever.
Taylor Gass of Zestay